First day of School...all over again

Hi friends!

2 weeks ago MEAP results were released. My principal, who is known as the "turn around" principal, was furious. Some of our scores went down from last year. And while some of the scores went up, the highest proficiency percent was in the thirties. This means that 70ish percent of the school is not proficient in academic subjects.

At the same staff meeting we were told that teachers would be moved around because we've got some major changes that need to happen to get our kids in shape. Last Wednesday my assistant principal announced the changes. I'm being moved from 5th grade science and math to 4th grade science and social studies.

Now, here are the pros and cons:
Cons: new kids, my kids won't get the science they deserve anymore, half a year left to teach what you would cover in a whole year.
Pros: NO MORE MATH!!! Had some of the kids as 3rd graders, I like teaching science and social studies, I get to keep my room, I get to start over as a teacher

I could stay mad about the fact that my fifth graders will be with a teacher who doesn't really know how to teach science. That is an injustice. I've poured into them, I've had plans for them. I could stay mad about the fact that I'm going from fifty students to eighty. I could stay mad about all sorts of things. But I don't want to.

I'm happy I'm done with math. I hate teaching math. I'm happy I get some of my third graders from Maybury. I liked those kids. It's going to be like a family reunion on Monday. I'm happy that my administration has enough faith in me to put me in a more critical teaching position (5th grade takes the science MEAP which tests on science learned in 4th grade).

What I'm really happy about is being given the chance to start over in the middle of my first year as a teacher. Thursday night I couldn't fall asleep. My head was full of ideas and plans to shape the culture of my new classroom. I was dog tired on Friday, but had gotten all of my ideas written down so Thursday night's brain explosion was worth it.

I think the most critical thing lacking in student's ability to achieve is motivation. I am reorganizing everything in my classroom and the way that I teach and handle discipline so that students feel empowered and motivated and want to learn. My goal is to be able to convince my students that they are full of greatness, that they are oozing with it. The best part is its not a lie. How crazy is it that the creator of the universe made human beings and hid in them greatness that represents their creator!?! These kids are full of greatness. I know because I have experienced God's love. Oh, how He loves us! I can't preach the gospel, but I can speak the truth. I think students who believe they can succeed will.

I need to make learning fun. Now, I don't usually have a problem with this when it comes to science and social studies, so that's almost already taken care of for me now that math is gone. But learning has to be fun. No one looks back on the lectures they had in the classroom as life changing moments. It is the activities, the investigations, the hands-on experiences that change the lives of learners.

I need to treat students with the utmost respect. Pulling kids aside to address issues instead of putting them on the spot in the middle of the classroom is a must for students to feel safe and cared for. Not showing annoyance is a must for students to feel valued and respected. I've got to change the bad habits I've gotten into. I know I'm going to have some behavior challenges, and I pray that when those come the grace of God falls on me and I can do justly in that situation. I want my kids to be excited to come to my class. And I want them to prove that they are as capable of being respectful, courteous, and kind as any other kid this world has seen. That starts with me being the example.

Detroit has a lot to prove. The nation is waiting for Detroit to finally disappear. But there is too much heart here. Detroit isn't going to just quiet down and get out of the picture. Detroit is going to rise. A shaking has to happen first though. The old structures that aren't stable and secure have to be shown for what they are and broken down. That's what we are going through. That's what I want to make it through. In the middle of the smoke and ashes when this is all said and done, I want to be with an army of kids that are ready to turn this whole thing around - Kids that are intelligent, creative, and determined. That's what I want to give life to in my classroom.

And so, in a way, it is the grace of God that I get to start over. My mind is renewed. My strength is renewed. My vision is clear. And as long as Jesus stays by my side, I will succeed and my kids will come out of this messy city with the wind under their wings. I'm ready for that.

Tomorrow I'm going to make it happen.

Hump Day

Sometimes just making it past Wednesday is the encouragement that you need for the week. Right now, I feel like making it back to school on Monday will be the ultimate hump day challenge.

I like teaching. I like teaching in Detroit. I like teaching my students.

I hate the system. It is so broken. And it is absolutely beyond me, or any other teacher, to fix it. I am given a pacing chart and told what to teach each day. I am expected to stay on track with the pacing chart. I am expected to differentiate my lessons so that my students, who are all at different levels, can be fairly accessed on the same content but not at the same depth. And yet, each of my students needs to know the same things for the standardized tests because I am evaluated on their performance on these tests. None of it is fair. It's not fair to the teachers and its not fair to the kids.

In the perfect school, kids would be assigned groups based on what they know, not their age. They would be taught in groups no larger than twelve. They would be able to move to another group based on their skill level gained or need for more instruction. Kids would be allowed to study in depth the things that fascinate them, whether it be music, social studies, physics or pottery.

But we have standards for each grade level because we are in competition with other countries. And the people who are in charge of making our children competitive on the world playing field are underpaid, under supported, and stretched too thin.

I love Detroit. I couldn't imagine myself teaching anywhere else. I am not in love with any other group of kids the way that I love kids from my city. I feel like no other place needs me. Detroit needs people who believe in the hope of redemption. Detroit needs people like me. But, being here is so hard. Teaching here is so hard. I don't know how people raise families and teach. It blows my mind that it is even possible. Teaching consumes your life. Teaching requires continual self improvement and reflection and tweaking after tweaking after tweaking.

The first year is the hardest. Yeah, I get that. But there are no guarantees that next year will be any easier. Who knows what school I'll be working at, or what grade I will have, or what subjects I will be teaching. ...and for what? A broken system that cannot be fixed? To fix education in this country school must be completely rethought. Teachers will have to be completely retrained. Universities will have to be completely turned around to produce a mass of people ready to tackle injustice like never before. And the public will have to learn to value something that our culture has always valued in speech, but never with action.

This problem is so much bigger than I can even imagine.

I know I can make a difference in Detroit because it all comes down to how you treat people. The biggest impact I can give to my kids is not how much math or science they learn. Kids don't really care about that. Humans don't really care about that. Humans care how they are treated. Now, in education that means meeting kids where they are and genuinely trying to bridge the gap between what they know and what they don't know. But kids won't let you give them knowledge. You have to earn their respect and trust in order for them to allow anything you say to make a difference.

The only problem is with 50 students, 2 hours given by the district to prepare, plan, intervene, and grade a week, and a plethora of learning styles and abilities, it is nearly impossible to reach every kid.

And so I approach the beginning of the 2013 school year much like a hump day morning, staring at the alarm clock in disbelief that it is already time to get out of bed. I am faced with two choices. One-hit snooze, go back to bed, and then just try to make it to the weekend. Or two-suck it up, breathe in deeply and fill my lungs with life so that I have something to work with when I am up to my neck with problems I cannot solve but a heart that will not let me look the other way.

I will not always be a teacher, of that I am sure. But I will be a teacher here in this city for the next 2 1/2 years. The Lord has put me here. The Lord has allowed my heart to be burdened with some of the things that burden his own heart. I have no other choice but to go back to work in Monday with a resolve in my heart to once again treat and teach my students with justice. I must do justly by them. They are what I have been entrusted with. Even though I can't defeat the monster of education, I stare it boldly in the face knowing that somehow I can be a threat.

My God sees. My God hears. He knows better than me what I am up against. He knows that this job is much harder than most anyone supposes. And so I can go back to work rejuvenated, not because anything is solved, but because I trust my Lord. He has not failed me. And I would hate to live each day just hoping for a weekend without responsibilities to waste away my time.

Cheers to hump day, it's a day of forming character from deep within.