...there's always that ONE kid who gets under your skin... I nearly go off on students when I've told the class repeatedly to stop talking while I'm giving directions or clarification. And I cringe every time I see a hand go up when I've asked for questions and someone wants to start sharing a story. KIDS! Why are they like this?
Yesterday was a tough day. My math lesson was boring and no one wanted to do the work. I had to constantly tell students to keep working, put your name on your paper, stop talking about that, sit down, leave her alone, do your work, stop talking, put your hand down-you can't go to the bathroom, stop talking, why haven't you started your work, put your name on your paper, no-you can't write in marker, stop talking... (Seriously.)
Since becoming a teacher not a school day goes by without me spending
time in the morning asking God to give me patience and to help me be
fair and full of grace and love. Every day I fail. And every morning I
ask for the grace to treat my students right all over again.
I went home last night worn out. I had relied on my own (lack of) strength all day and I could tell. My students could tell, too. [It's worse for my afternoon class. By the time they get to me my morning class has stolen all of my patience and grace and there is very little nice left in me.]
This morning I knew I needed the Lord's strength. I sat for a while after waking up just thinking about everything that went wrong yesterday-just telling the Lord all about it. I'm so glad his love is unconditional-he really knows me and nothing I do is hidden from him. I find comfort in that. I don't have to try to hide things from him. He already knows-and he LOVES me JUST THE SAME. [No-I'm not saying that we can do whatever we want and abuse God's grace. That makes him angry. Just look at the letters to the churches in Revelation. What I am saying is that our messes don't phase him and his love is always unwavering towards us. Unconditional love and agreeing with our actions are two different things.]
So, I had a good morning getting my head cleared and making room in my heart for God to be in control. Then, on my way to work, the best mix of songs were on the radio. My heart went straight into worship. I wanted to just sit in my car and speak to God. But, everything you do can be worship to God-and I had a job to get started.
Thank God for Pandora Radio! As soon as I got in my classroom I knew I couldn't stop worshiping just yet. My heart just needed to commune with God. So I put on some Christian radio via Pandora while I wrote the objectives and homework for the day and looked over my lesson plans.
Today was so much better than yesterday. I treated my kids better. My lessons were better (even Math!). I laughed more. I smiled at my kids more. I spoke more encouraging words to my kids. I was no where near being worn out at the end of the day.
The thing is when I have a bad day, my kids are forced to have a bad day. But, when I have a good day nothing but good can come of it. Which means when I'm not rooted in Jesus and connected to his strength my kids suffer. But when I am full of praise and worship my kids' days are changed for the better. It is absolutely crazy to think about. It blows my mind. When I am centered in Jesus my kids reap the benefits. It doesn't matter if they believe in God or even know that I'm a follower of God--as long as I'm letting the Holy Spirit lead my day they get a taste of what real life is. CRAZY. When I'm tasting and seeing that the Lord is good my kids are able to taste and see that, too! Woah!
We are carriers of salt and light. I'm starting to realize that the church may not even know what that truly means. We don't realize how we can change the spiritual atmosphere of a place just by being present. We are ambassadors of Christ, sons and daughters of a king-the King. We are those that have found favor with the creator of the universe (the sun is 93 million miles away from earth and it would take use 24 YEARS to travel to Neptune and back....UNIVERSE).
Anyway-I think I've been all over the place here. Hopefully you can figure it out.
Keep praying, I'm still on lay-off notice. Whatever my God ordains is right.
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