Moving Mountains

I've been telling my students all week that progress reports would be going home today. I stayed up late on Wednesday and Thursday getting grades into the computer and getting the reports ready. I've also been prepping my students because many of them were in for a rude awakening. Sometimes it's really tough being a ten year old student.

Even though I handed out dozens of F's today, I left school feeling like a champion. My kids need help. They have gotten to 5th grade without mastering many math and science concepts they are supposed to know by now. No more. That sort of education cannot continue. I would not be doing my job if it did. I can't ignore the acheivement gap between my highest and lowest students. I have one kid who can't read clocks but perfectly explained to me the process of photosynthesis. I have others that struggle to speak English but can read decimal numbers with the correct vocabulary (78.59 is read seventy eight and fifty nine hundredths). I have a lot of back-tracking to do...but it's okay. Really.

I feel like a champion because I left school today knowing, without a doubt, that my students know that I will help them. My students see me as an advocate. I really feel like I have convinced them that I am here because here is where they are. That's a really good feeling. Even in the midst of failing grades and bad feelings, I looked at my students today and saw faces that trusted me. I've earned trust. That's a big deal.

I've even begun to earn the trust of parents. When parents believe that I am an advocate for their child that changes everything. I have a couple of parents who are involved and who are beginning to trust that I will do my job to the best of my ability. That's cool.

I really enjoy what I am doing. I know I am changing things. Even if it's just this group of kids, it still changes everything. I know that me staying here in Detroit will have ripple effects. Stuff is moving and shaking.  Praise the Lord that it isn't my doing. Jesus began this good work in me and HE is the one who will bring it to completion. He called out the gift of teaching inside of me. He has put me in very unique circumstances where the gift has been fostered and strengthened. I know there is so much more that I need to learn, but it is a good feeling to be content in the middle of the waiting.

Pray for my students. Pray also for me. I feel like I'm up against mountains...good thing my God says that faith can move them!!!

I've taken away Recess

I never thought it would come to this.

Recess is the only bargaining tool that I have.

I've started putting grades into the gradebook and I've found some very disturbing information. Kids are not turning in homework. You'd think I'd realize this every day when I collect homework, right? I collect homework in piles, so I don't ever really know who is turning it in and who isn't. I know now.

One thing that I feel this district has lacked is high standards. So I set high standards for my kids. I told them they will have homework every night. They have to work in my class. It's just not an option. Hard work cannot be an option for students in this district. There is already so much against them. So many of their families are stuck in poverty cycles and aren't able to get out of that. That's got to stop, and as a teacher I can play a key role in teaching kids how to work hard and overcome the things that are in their way.

So recess becomes my time, unfortunately. If they don't turn in homework when it's due, they've still got to do the work. I refuse to let my students settle for D's and F's. They are capable of more. Some of them don't know what they are capable of. Some of them don't believe what they are capable of. Some of them have never been told what they are capable of.

I'll tell them. I'll push them. I'll make them work.

Because I really love them.

Discipline and Love

I have a morning routine like most people. Every day, before leaving for work, I ask my little brother, "Where is my escort?" He says "Right here!" and escorts me to the front door. We exchange our 'good days' and 'good byes' and I walk out to my car. He closes and locks the door behind me.

This morning I woke up to my little brother and sister and boyfriend making waffles. Yum! When I was ready to leave and asked "Where's my escort?" both Zeke and Alex walked me to the front door. Zeke called out as I was walking down the steps, "Discipline, Amy, remember discipline." I said "Okay." Then Alex called out, "Love, Amy, remember love." I said "Okay" and thought how I have been recently reading in the Bible where it talks about discipline is love. Here are 2 examples I've read recently in the book of Proverbs:

Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life,
    but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
    but whoever hates correction is stupid.

I'm reminded of this passage from the book of 1 Corithians when I think about discipline:

If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Discipline is nessacary. That's my job. I have to correct a lot of wrongs: wrong attitudes, wrong answers, wrong behaviors, wrong intentions, wrong procedures...LOTS of wrongs in my day. I have to steer kids toward the right way to respond in different situations, the right way to put the heading on their paper, the right way to work in groups, the right way to pass papers to the teacher, the right way to walk in the hall, the right way to solve an equation, the right way to do many, MANY things.

BUT-discipline without love is FUTILE. It does nothing. Well, I take that back, it does one thing: It makes people angry. Discipline that is not done in love repels people. Doesn't it? Think about a time when you were disciplined by an angry or upset person. It didn't have a positive outcome, did it?

Yesterday was a tough day. I was correcting wrongs all day long. I was completed worn out and so frustrated. My lessons were crap, my teaching was terrible, my attitude was all over the place...it was a rough day. I don't think I was approaching any of the wrongs with love in my heart. The purpose of discipline is to teach the correct behavior. I was just pointing out all of the incorrect behavior.

This morning I got the best reminder from two of my favorite people. Discipline, Amy, remember discipline. Yes, that is my job. A child without discipline will not learn, they will not succeed in the professional world. Yes, I must discipline. I discipline BECAUSE I love. I want my children to succeed. I want my children to know the right way. Becuase discipline is love, it must be done in love, with the attitude of love: with patience and kindness, not in anger, not keeping a record of wrong against a kid, protecting and hoping, and loving even when it's the hardest thing to do.

So, there you have it.

School has been REALLY tough. I'll talk more about that when I have time, but my lunch break is over and I've got a class to discipline and love. :)