I've been telling my students all week that progress reports would be going home today. I stayed up late on Wednesday and Thursday getting grades into the computer and getting the reports ready. I've also been prepping my students because many of them were in for a rude awakening. Sometimes it's really tough being a ten year old student.
Even though I handed out dozens of F's today, I left school feeling like a champion. My kids need help. They have gotten to 5th grade without mastering many math and science concepts they are supposed to know by now. No more. That sort of education cannot continue. I would not be doing my job if it did. I can't ignore the acheivement gap between my highest and lowest students. I have one kid who can't read clocks but perfectly explained to me the process of photosynthesis. I have others that struggle to speak English but can read decimal numbers with the correct vocabulary (78.59 is read seventy eight and fifty nine hundredths). I have a lot of back-tracking to do...but it's okay. Really.
I feel like a champion because I left school today knowing, without a doubt, that my students know that I will help them. My students see me as an advocate. I really feel like I have convinced them that I am here because here is where they are. That's a really good feeling. Even in the midst of failing grades and bad feelings, I looked at my students today and saw faces that trusted me. I've earned trust. That's a big deal.
I've even begun to earn the trust of parents. When parents believe that I am an advocate for their child that changes everything. I have a couple of parents who are involved and who are beginning to trust that I will do my job to the best of my ability. That's cool.
I really enjoy what I am doing. I know I am changing things. Even if it's just this group of kids, it still changes everything. I know that me staying here in Detroit will have ripple effects. Stuff is moving and shaking. Praise the Lord that it isn't my doing. Jesus began this good work in me and HE is the one who will bring it to completion. He called out the gift of teaching inside of me. He has put me in very unique circumstances where the gift has been fostered and strengthened. I know there is so much more that I need to learn, but it is a good feeling to be content in the middle of the waiting.
Pray for my students. Pray also for me. I feel like I'm up against mountains...good thing my God says that faith can move them!!!
Friday, September 21, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I've taken away Recess
I never thought it would come to this.
Recess is the only bargaining tool that I have.
I've started putting grades into the gradebook and I've found some very disturbing information. Kids are not turning in homework. You'd think I'd realize this every day when I collect homework, right? I collect homework in piles, so I don't ever really know who is turning it in and who isn't. I know now.
One thing that I feel this district has lacked is high standards. So I set high standards for my kids. I told them they will have homework every night. They have to work in my class. It's just not an option. Hard work cannot be an option for students in this district. There is already so much against them. So many of their families are stuck in poverty cycles and aren't able to get out of that. That's got to stop, and as a teacher I can play a key role in teaching kids how to work hard and overcome the things that are in their way.
So recess becomes my time, unfortunately. If they don't turn in homework when it's due, they've still got to do the work. I refuse to let my students settle for D's and F's. They are capable of more. Some of them don't know what they are capable of. Some of them don't believe what they are capable of. Some of them have never been told what they are capable of.
I'll tell them. I'll push them. I'll make them work.
Because I really love them.
Recess is the only bargaining tool that I have.
I've started putting grades into the gradebook and I've found some very disturbing information. Kids are not turning in homework. You'd think I'd realize this every day when I collect homework, right? I collect homework in piles, so I don't ever really know who is turning it in and who isn't. I know now.
One thing that I feel this district has lacked is high standards. So I set high standards for my kids. I told them they will have homework every night. They have to work in my class. It's just not an option. Hard work cannot be an option for students in this district. There is already so much against them. So many of their families are stuck in poverty cycles and aren't able to get out of that. That's got to stop, and as a teacher I can play a key role in teaching kids how to work hard and overcome the things that are in their way.
So recess becomes my time, unfortunately. If they don't turn in homework when it's due, they've still got to do the work. I refuse to let my students settle for D's and F's. They are capable of more. Some of them don't know what they are capable of. Some of them don't believe what they are capable of. Some of them have never been told what they are capable of.
I'll tell them. I'll push them. I'll make them work.
Because I really love them.
Friday, September 14, 2012
2 week Update
These past 2 weeks have been some of the most difficult weeks of my life. Probably the most difficult weeks of my life. I've cried, I've laughed, I've worked and worked and worked, and still there is so much more work to be done.
I don't even know where to start explaining what these past 2 weeks have been like.
I have 2 classes, one before lunch and one after lunch. I'm responsible for preparing each class for the science and math portions of the MEAP. The only math I've ever taught is 3rd grade math. I have almost zero experience teaching science.
I LIKE teaching science. I guess I always knew I would. I don't totally understand science. Physics almost killed me in college. But I've always enjoyed my science classes. For some reason it's what I decided to major in. So far, I've had the most teaching support in science. The district has key concepts that should be reviewed AND lesson plans for how to review them. There are experiments already written out with focus questions, homework, and extension activities. At this point, I feel like I'll make a good science teacher.
I do NOT like teaching math. And I ALWAYS knew I never would. I really could have majored in math, science or english as a teacher. I didn't choose english because I figured it wouldn't be the best career choice. I didn't choose math because I never wanted to teach it. Math always came naturally to me. I never had to think very hard. When I saw how numbers were plugged in to an equation, I got it right away. I was never excited about doing math. I was never happy that I understood it, I just wanted to make sure I kept my straight A's. I didn't have to study hard because I didn't care about being the best in the class, just about doing enough to get my A. Math was the first subject I wanted to give back to my mentor teacher last year. And now, I get to teach it...forever! And unlike science, the math department doesn't have any figured out foci for the math MEAP or review or anything helpful except for a lame pacing chart.
We just got a math instructional specialist/coach in our building. She came in yesterday and didn't say a word. Just sat in my room for a little bit and then left. Today she did the same thing. Except she stayed for a really long time. Why couldn't she have come when I was doing science???? My kids were pairing and sharing, they were watching videos of Olympic sports and telling me how gravity and friction affected the sports, they were engaged, and my teaching was good. Nope. She came during math. The one thing I wish I never had to teach. At least today she spoke to me and said that she is preparing some resources for MEAP review. That's nice. But I will probably still cry tonight because of all this stupid pressure to turn a failing district into an exemplar district overnight.
That's the one thing about my school. It's totally "fend for yourself...or die." Lol. And it's tough. It's really tough.
Even with all that said, this doesn't even sum up what the last 2 weeks have been like. And I have no real way to put it into words. I love my kids. They make me laugh. I was supposed to have a quiz ready for them last Monday but I forgot to do that over the weekend. I told them it was because my weekend was so full of fun things to do and I promised them that I will have no more fun weekends so that they could have fun taking quizzes. Yesterday I mentioned that they will have a quiz on Monday and without missing a beat one of my students blurts out "Please enjoy your weekend!" It made me and the whole class laugh. It was good. I haven't really laughed in school for a while.
I have a handful of kids that are way behind. I don't know who let them pass 4th grade. There are a few that I think may have some legitimate learning disabilities. So I need to see what the process is for documenting and setting up interviews with the student's parents to look into testing.
Overall, it's the system that is overwhelming me. It's a lot to deal with all on your own. And it does feel like I'm all on my own in teaching these kids. But it's magnifying my need for God. "Blessed are the poor in spirit..." I can feel the lack inside. I can feel my need for more of God. This job is way bigger than me. It's way bigger than all of the teachers and administrators combined. It goes beyond education into all sorts of other issues: poverty, healthiness, stability, families, addictions...the list goes on and on. I like when I can feel my need, to know that I am in need, to know that there is One who can provide when no one else can.
"...for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven." And there's the hope, that one day all of this worn out world will pass away and my Jesus will come on the clouds. He will end injustice once and for ever more. There will be no poverty, no pain, no sickness, no addictions, no broken families. There will be Heaven. And Jesus will establish His kingdom and His government will know no end. If something is good, it grows. If something is healthy, it grows. His government will be good. It will be healthy. It will be complete and lacking in nothing. Right now I'm just working with broken systems. But my Jesus will come, and he will restore all that has been lost. And so right now as I feel my need, I know my lack, and I see this problem in education and Detroit-I cling to the One who can make it all right and ask that He would come and be my support. God knows all about elementary education. He knows all about getting students engaged. He knows how to teach.
I gotta go.
I don't even know where to start explaining what these past 2 weeks have been like.
I have 2 classes, one before lunch and one after lunch. I'm responsible for preparing each class for the science and math portions of the MEAP. The only math I've ever taught is 3rd grade math. I have almost zero experience teaching science.
I LIKE teaching science. I guess I always knew I would. I don't totally understand science. Physics almost killed me in college. But I've always enjoyed my science classes. For some reason it's what I decided to major in. So far, I've had the most teaching support in science. The district has key concepts that should be reviewed AND lesson plans for how to review them. There are experiments already written out with focus questions, homework, and extension activities. At this point, I feel like I'll make a good science teacher.
I do NOT like teaching math. And I ALWAYS knew I never would. I really could have majored in math, science or english as a teacher. I didn't choose english because I figured it wouldn't be the best career choice. I didn't choose math because I never wanted to teach it. Math always came naturally to me. I never had to think very hard. When I saw how numbers were plugged in to an equation, I got it right away. I was never excited about doing math. I was never happy that I understood it, I just wanted to make sure I kept my straight A's. I didn't have to study hard because I didn't care about being the best in the class, just about doing enough to get my A. Math was the first subject I wanted to give back to my mentor teacher last year. And now, I get to teach it...forever! And unlike science, the math department doesn't have any figured out foci for the math MEAP or review or anything helpful except for a lame pacing chart.
We just got a math instructional specialist/coach in our building. She came in yesterday and didn't say a word. Just sat in my room for a little bit and then left. Today she did the same thing. Except she stayed for a really long time. Why couldn't she have come when I was doing science???? My kids were pairing and sharing, they were watching videos of Olympic sports and telling me how gravity and friction affected the sports, they were engaged, and my teaching was good. Nope. She came during math. The one thing I wish I never had to teach. At least today she spoke to me and said that she is preparing some resources for MEAP review. That's nice. But I will probably still cry tonight because of all this stupid pressure to turn a failing district into an exemplar district overnight.
That's the one thing about my school. It's totally "fend for yourself...or die." Lol. And it's tough. It's really tough.
Even with all that said, this doesn't even sum up what the last 2 weeks have been like. And I have no real way to put it into words. I love my kids. They make me laugh. I was supposed to have a quiz ready for them last Monday but I forgot to do that over the weekend. I told them it was because my weekend was so full of fun things to do and I promised them that I will have no more fun weekends so that they could have fun taking quizzes. Yesterday I mentioned that they will have a quiz on Monday and without missing a beat one of my students blurts out "Please enjoy your weekend!" It made me and the whole class laugh. It was good. I haven't really laughed in school for a while.
I have a handful of kids that are way behind. I don't know who let them pass 4th grade. There are a few that I think may have some legitimate learning disabilities. So I need to see what the process is for documenting and setting up interviews with the student's parents to look into testing.
Overall, it's the system that is overwhelming me. It's a lot to deal with all on your own. And it does feel like I'm all on my own in teaching these kids. But it's magnifying my need for God. "Blessed are the poor in spirit..." I can feel the lack inside. I can feel my need for more of God. This job is way bigger than me. It's way bigger than all of the teachers and administrators combined. It goes beyond education into all sorts of other issues: poverty, healthiness, stability, families, addictions...the list goes on and on. I like when I can feel my need, to know that I am in need, to know that there is One who can provide when no one else can.
"...for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven." And there's the hope, that one day all of this worn out world will pass away and my Jesus will come on the clouds. He will end injustice once and for ever more. There will be no poverty, no pain, no sickness, no addictions, no broken families. There will be Heaven. And Jesus will establish His kingdom and His government will know no end. If something is good, it grows. If something is healthy, it grows. His government will be good. It will be healthy. It will be complete and lacking in nothing. Right now I'm just working with broken systems. But my Jesus will come, and he will restore all that has been lost. And so right now as I feel my need, I know my lack, and I see this problem in education and Detroit-I cling to the One who can make it all right and ask that He would come and be my support. God knows all about elementary education. He knows all about getting students engaged. He knows how to teach.
I gotta go.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Discipline and Love
I have a morning routine like most people. Every day, before leaving for work, I ask my little brother, "Where is my escort?" He says "Right here!" and escorts me to the front door. We exchange our 'good days' and 'good byes' and I walk out to my car. He closes and locks the door behind me.
This morning I woke up to my little brother and sister and boyfriend making waffles. Yum! When I was ready to leave and asked "Where's my escort?" both Zeke and Alex walked me to the front door. Zeke called out as I was walking down the steps, "Discipline, Amy, remember discipline." I said "Okay." Then Alex called out, "Love, Amy, remember love." I said "Okay" and thought how I have been recently reading in the Bible where it talks about discipline is love. Here are 2 examples I've read recently in the book of Proverbs:
BUT-discipline without love is FUTILE. It does nothing. Well, I take that back, it does one thing: It makes people angry. Discipline that is not done in love repels people. Doesn't it? Think about a time when you were disciplined by an angry or upset person. It didn't have a positive outcome, did it?
Yesterday was a tough day. I was correcting wrongs all day long. I was completed worn out and so frustrated. My lessons were crap, my teaching was terrible, my attitude was all over the place...it was a rough day. I don't think I was approaching any of the wrongs with love in my heart. The purpose of discipline is to teach the correct behavior. I was just pointing out all of the incorrect behavior.
This morning I got the best reminder from two of my favorite people. Discipline, Amy, remember discipline. Yes, that is my job. A child without discipline will not learn, they will not succeed in the professional world. Yes, I must discipline. I discipline BECAUSE I love. I want my children to succeed. I want my children to know the right way. Becuase discipline is love, it must be done in love, with the attitude of love: with patience and kindness, not in anger, not keeping a record of wrong against a kid, protecting and hoping, and loving even when it's the hardest thing to do.
So, there you have it.
School has been REALLY tough. I'll talk more about that when I have time, but my lunch break is over and I've got a class to discipline and love. :)
This morning I woke up to my little brother and sister and boyfriend making waffles. Yum! When I was ready to leave and asked "Where's my escort?" both Zeke and Alex walked me to the front door. Zeke called out as I was walking down the steps, "Discipline, Amy, remember discipline." I said "Okay." Then Alex called out, "Love, Amy, remember love." I said "Okay" and thought how I have been recently reading in the Bible where it talks about discipline is love. Here are 2 examples I've read recently in the book of Proverbs:
Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life,I'm reminded of this passage from the book of 1 Corithians when I think about discipline:
but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but whoever hates correction is stupid.
If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.Discipline is nessacary. That's my job. I have to correct a lot of wrongs: wrong attitudes, wrong answers, wrong behaviors, wrong intentions, wrong procedures...LOTS of wrongs in my day. I have to steer kids toward the right way to respond in different situations, the right way to put the heading on their paper, the right way to work in groups, the right way to pass papers to the teacher, the right way to walk in the hall, the right way to solve an equation, the right way to do many, MANY things.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
BUT-discipline without love is FUTILE. It does nothing. Well, I take that back, it does one thing: It makes people angry. Discipline that is not done in love repels people. Doesn't it? Think about a time when you were disciplined by an angry or upset person. It didn't have a positive outcome, did it?
Yesterday was a tough day. I was correcting wrongs all day long. I was completed worn out and so frustrated. My lessons were crap, my teaching was terrible, my attitude was all over the place...it was a rough day. I don't think I was approaching any of the wrongs with love in my heart. The purpose of discipline is to teach the correct behavior. I was just pointing out all of the incorrect behavior.
This morning I got the best reminder from two of my favorite people. Discipline, Amy, remember discipline. Yes, that is my job. A child without discipline will not learn, they will not succeed in the professional world. Yes, I must discipline. I discipline BECAUSE I love. I want my children to succeed. I want my children to know the right way. Becuase discipline is love, it must be done in love, with the attitude of love: with patience and kindness, not in anger, not keeping a record of wrong against a kid, protecting and hoping, and loving even when it's the hardest thing to do.
So, there you have it.
School has been REALLY tough. I'll talk more about that when I have time, but my lunch break is over and I've got a class to discipline and love. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)